My Back Hurts: Day 4

I've been laid up in the apartment since Friday with a back injury sustained while jumping around like an animal in the theater class I'm taking.

Did I need a reminder that I'm turning 31 next week. No. I did not. Nonetheless, here I sit, the smell of Ben-Gay wafting up into my nostrils, mixing with the smell of the broccoli and carrots I just steamed for lunch; downing Tylenol Extra Strength, Quick Release capsules.

Yikes.

I hate missing work. Partly, this is because I love what I do, and partly it's because work as a measure of self-worth was carved into so deeply and so long ago that I've been unable to buff it away with even the coarsest grades of self-development work. But I'm not stewing. Oh, no. Instead, I've been asking myself that most difficult of questions -- the one that my cynical self would never have asked a couple of years ago. Wait for it ...

How is this an opportunity?

Now, it's not as though I've answered it to my intellectual or emotional satisfaction. Rather, I've been answering it by what I've been doing. And what I've been doing is creating a ton of coaching material -- about 90% of what's going to go on my Website, like FAQs, list of services, pricing, biography, mission statement; the site map; some documents that will help with my work-flow. And I'm very excited about that.

I'm still holding out on getting the actual site built because I still think that a decent name for the business is going to bubble to the surface any minute.

Actually, I don't know how I'm going to get the site built. I don't have money to pay for it, so I'm going to have Andi help me with it, or just get one of those easy-peezy DIY sites. I want it to look like the real thing, though. Most coaching Website are so outrageously lame - I refuse to add another to the steaming pile.

Ah-hem. Sorry.

All of this is a boon to my morale since I had to cancel the first of the faux-coaching sessions that I had scheduled for Saturday with some very brave friends and friends of friends.

So ... yeah.

Andi and I are entering into negotiations about our next move. It's been frustrating so far - but much of my frustration, if I'm honest, is coming from my own uncertainty and really has nothing to do with Andi. I took a good look at this the other night using a method of working through stuff that I have no idea where I picked up. Basically, I wrote out a dialogue between two of my personas. One who was waffling about what to do and the other who was going to continually ask pointed questions.

Well, it was clear right away, that the decision I have to make for myself is whether I want to continue with my current job or jump headlong into the private practice thing.

This post is getting long, I'm going to save that question for the next posting.

Until then, be better.